this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
