Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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