Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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