So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Be still, my beating vagina.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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