This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
