I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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