he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
