Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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