Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
