My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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