two words: eviction party
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
