8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
