Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
