I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
