i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
