In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I understand Curling. That high.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
