mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
