Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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