I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
