Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
