So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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