either way he was missing a nipple.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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