I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
