I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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