I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
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