The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
