dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
