Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
