I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize