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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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