? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
