I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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