Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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