Sry I called you an 8
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
