The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize