You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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