my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
