last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
