im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize