Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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