just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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