Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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