im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He has the fingertips of a God
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
