I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
NoShamevember. You game?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
