honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
