the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
