Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
