I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
