Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
