Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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