Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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