I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
