Screwed.edu
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
