I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize