yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize