When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
