so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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