this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
