He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
