I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
